ESL resources - environment

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What if Global Warming Continues ?

Posted by Jacqueline Richards

Language point: environment

What if global warming continues ? There would no night and day - since sunlight would shine constantly. Seasons would fall into years, spring, summer, autumn and winter would all be rolled into one. Rivers and seas would vaporise into steam and completely dry up - becoming a jacuzzi bubble bath. Perhaps hens would start to lay boiled or poached eggs and cows' udders would squirt only yoghurt, not milk. You would never have to boil a kettle. If you made a cup of tea - it would quickly evaporate and you would see straight through to the bottom of the cup. No more swimming trunks ! Few quick showers - no soaks in the bath. How would people wash their hair, do you think ? Perhaps using a brush a comb would be a good idea since only dust and dry crumbs would fall from taps and toilets wouldn't flush. Rain wouldn't fall (strongly upsetting the natural habitat of worms, toads, frogs and other garden creatures who often appear in watery showers). And those poor fish ! Tadpoles and trouts would topple, salmon would catch salmonella and no more trawling for tuna. Angling for apples would take the place of angling for anything else. The Pacific Ocean would bubble and boil, eventually petering out and the Atlantic would actually acquire an acute attack of dry rot. Fishermen catching fish would catch a summer cold. There would be no more snow nor snowmen - because icy glaciers would simply melt. Winter would fall completely out of fashion (as indeed would scarves, woolly hats and mittens) and everyone would go naked - never having to wear any clothes again. People would sport the most tanned of complexions, having basked all day in ultra violet rays. Dishwasher and washing machine manufacturers would all go out business (but at least there would be no more washing up !). The saucer of milk you leave for the cat that comes prowling in your garden would be useless and doctors could only prescribe tablets, no more medicines ! The air would be so hot and dry that your lungs would decrease rapidly in size. Children wouldn't have the joy of paddling pools ever again. In schools, inkwells would be empty and teachers would have to use chalk again (like in the nineteenth century). People would age much more quickly and soon become wrinkled and crinkly. There would be one good thing about global warming - heating bills would go down dramatically and houses would no longer require radiators. The benefits to the environment would be enormous - rainforests would grow back again (except in gardens because the ban on garden hoses would mean everyone would have to have plastic bouquets) and houses would not need radiators. But the best thing about global warming would be that no - one would ever cry again and no tears would ever roll down the faces of children. Scent and perfume would only be empty bottles - creams, lotions and potions, would be empty tubes only. If global warming continues, then the business for manufacturers of thermometers would boom and ice cream makers would all go bankrupt. Global warming would make the Earth rise and change places with Uranus, perhaps and spin around in cyclones of hot air - gone would be the days of torrential rains.

© Jacqueline Richards 2005

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